A baby is born.

Let's take it way back. March 2007 if you will. I freakin knew I was pregnant. I just freakin KNEW! However, those stupid pregnancy tests kept coming back with a big fat NEGATIVE. So I decided it was time to take a trip to my Gyno. Blood was taken. Lo and behold...I WAS KNOCKED UP!

Panic...anxiety...fear...joy...anger...and so many other emotions took over my mind.

So, crying like a dork, I approached Adam, and he was...PERFECTLY CALM. Do you know how annoying that is?

Anyway, the news was told to all that mattered...and we're off. Pregnancy, Child-Birth, Motherhood...HERE I COME!

Now I am most certainly not going to go over 9 months day by day. So let me sum it up for you.

I freakin HATED my first OB/GYN, she had NO bedside manner whatsoever. So, my sister convinced me to switch to her doctor. And I did. And I LOVED him. And two weeks before my due date, TWO WEEKS, he is slapped with a malpractice suit and I must find a new doctor. You have got to be kidding me?! So, after another referral from a friend, I am placed with a practice that I adore, thank God!

Fast forward...December 30th 2007 10:00am. I have my weekly check up as I am due any day now. Oh wait, did I mention that EACH doctor give me a DIFFERENT due date? Well they did. I was due anywhere from December 17th to January 11th. Ummm, okay!

Where was I? Oh yes, the doctors. All of the normals tests were performed. Weight, blood pressure and urine. And it just so happened that my blood pressure was ridiculously high and my urine showed a insane amount of protein. I had extreme pre-eclampsia. I was having this baby. Today.

Now I was not driving at this point, and Adam was at work, so my dad being the cool man that he is took me to this appointment. And he took me to the hospital. And he waited until Adam got there. Did I mention my dad is the man?

Okay, so now it's about 1pm. They have hooked me up to Magnesium to control the pre-eclampsia. The pitocin is being given verrry slooowllly! Adam is sitting next to me playing XBox. Yes, that is correct. He brought his freaking XBox to the hospital. But, he was very well behaved and turned it off when he was told.

It's about 5pm now. Finally starting to feel the contractions, so I figure, hows about a lil epidural? Two men come in to ease my pain. I hunch over the pillow with the nurse holding my hands. And I feel that ginormous needle stab me. And I hear one of the men say "We seem to have missed the spot. Let's try that again." Whatever. Take two. And they miss again. After a total of 9, yes NINE times, I am still lacking an epidural but I tell the two morons to PISS OFF as I am starting to look like 50 cent with all of these holes in my back. So I was given some Stadol to "keep my mind off of the pain." Yeah, okay!

We are going on about 9pm. Contractions are kicking my ass. I am swearing at any and everyone. Apparently Adam was hungry, so my mother, being the wonderful woman she is, brought him a sandwich and some...wait for it...CALAMARI. In my delivery room. Let me tell you, the smell of fish and labor do not go well together. Needless to say, lots of vomiting occurred.

It's now 11pm. And I am bring told that it's time to push. And seriously, I am pumped. Couldn't be happier. I assume the position. Knees up. Feet pushed back. Chest forward. And PUSH. And NOTHING. I sucked at pushing. Like, I was really bad it. The nurse seemed like she was going to beat my ass. This went one until about 1:15 until finally. He started to slide on out. But wait! He needs some help. From the vacuum. Of course. So I grunt, groan and push while the lil sucker gets pulled out by a Shop Vac. And at 1:29 am on January 1st, 2008 weighing in at 8lbs 1oz and 20 inches long, Antonio James has arrived.